Commitment in a relationship

So where would any relationship be without commitment? Nowhere. Without this then why bother?
When you are with your loved one you want to know that they are in it for the long run. You want to feel safe and secure in the knowledge that you are their one and their only, and nothing will ever change that for them.
Commitment doesn’t just mean being faithful. (Although of course they do have to be faithful). It also means they are committed enough to the relationship to make it work no matter what. To stand by you though the toughest of times. Nurse you when you’re at your sickest. As the famous lines say. In sickness and in health. For better for worse. For richer and poorer.
I know I know. You’ve heard those lines a million times before. But. If you don’t understand. Or adhere to those wise words. Then you can’t be as committed as you think.
All partners want security. And knowing that no matter what lays ahead of you in your futures together, you both will be committed enough to one another to be each others strength. Be the strength when they’re weak. Be the helper when they are too sick to help themselves. Support them when they need support. The shoulder they need to cry on. And the ear to release their worries to. Because you should know. That if it was the other way around. They would do it all for you without question.

Understanding each another

Understanding each other ties in nicely with trust and communication. As trust and communication are the root of understanding each other. It is actually a common complaint by a broken relationship to state “they don’t understand me anymore”. Quite like a pubescent teenager really.
Understanding how the other partner perceives things will help you both know how to approach situations and how to act or react to others.
This is a very useful tool to use in an argument with your partner. Next time you are having an argument. Instead of an exchange of insults. Trying to up the notch with each reply until each of you get hurt and upset. Try listening. Each of you. Even if you are forcefully biting your tongue to start with. Listen. Try to hear what the other is saying. Wait until they have finished or it is your turn to talk. You don’t have to agree with the other person. But you can try to understand their feelings and their point of view. Then simply reply with. “I understand your view. I understand why you feel this way. But this is how I feel. This is my point of view”.
If you use this instead of a huge heated exchange of insults. Or where one is constantly trying to overpower the other. You will not only get your feelings across. But you will both have a better understanding of how each other’s minds work. And how different things and situations effect people in different ways. It is always better to understand why someone is feeling they way they are before heading straight in for the attack.
This even works for discussions that aren’t involving an argument. Getting your point across by listening and communicating so you can let them understand your feelings is a lot better for your relationship than it all being one sided. The person with the loudest voice.
If couples learnt how to give what the other is needing, wanting or desiring at that particular moment in time, they will be more likely to give it to them than have a heated debate over a simple misunderstanding. No partner in a good relationship wants to see their partner suffer.
Tell each other how you feel.
Tell each other what you would like.
Talk, listen, communicate and try to understand each other.
If you can do this. Then you will be well on your way to have a happy, long, loving and beautiful relationship.

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Trust in a Relationship

Trust is of course a major part in a relationship. It is putting yourself up to vulnerability, a feeling that many see as a weakness, but in a relationship, is what makes you so much stronger.

Putting your trust fully into your partner means that you are saying that you are giving yourself fully, that you are putting your heart in their hands with the hope that they will nurture it and look after it with love. After all that is what it deserves.

Trust is very much like most things in a relationship a ‘Two way street’. Meaning that if you don’t show your partner that you deserve to be trusted then why should they put their heart and their venerability into a lost cause or possible heartache.

A lot of people over look many things as being ‘unfaithful’, and are surprised that they are questioned by their partners over their actions or lack of thought for the other person involved. For example they go out on a night out and don’t invite or bring the other person, maybe the person is always letting the other down with false promises, little lies about certain things that they think is ‘for he best that they don’t know’. All these little things can and will add up even if it is just subconsciously they will have an effect on a lot of people in their relationships.

There are very simple and great ways to gain and give trust in a relationship. things like;

  • Being reliable
  • Being up front and honest
  • Opening up and sharing intimate thoughts with each other
  • Not always saying yes to everything, it’s ok to say no sometimes too you know
  • Doing things and new experiences together
  • Having faith in your partners capabilities
  • Communicate with each other often
  • Trust them, as you want them to trust you, if you both do this then life will be so much sweeter

your partner needs to know that you are truly committed to them and that nothing will ever cause you to hurt them or break their heart and trust in you. Remember that by putting their trust into you is making themselves completely vulnerable, which is not a feeling anyone likes. So by them giving you their trust it is a huge statement and stage in your relationship. So treasure it, and do everything you can to keep the trust between you going.

Keys to a successful relationship

What are the key factors in any relationship? For me, they would be

• Trust
• Communication
• Understanding
• Commitment
• Empathy
• Acceptance

Each day I will take one of these key factors and elaborate on the fundamental necessities of keeping a solid, loving and happy relationship.

I will love you through the miles

As I sit here listening to the faint background sound of my clock, waiting for the minute hand to speed up, just a fraction, so that my day can be over that little bit sooner, All my thoughts go to you. I miss you like nothing I have ever experienced before. The days are long, the nights colder, and the world a much larger place than before.

It wasn’t long ago when we were in each others arms, wrapped in each others warmth and laughing about nothing. They say that absence makes the heart grow stronger… It also makes it hurt and yearn more for you.

But still, after all this time, all those miles, and all these lonely nights, I will never want anything else but you in my life.  The long distance and time apart make everything worth while when I can see you again and hold you in my arms. See, love isn’t just measured in moments or time, it is measured in everything that you are together, everything that two people want to be, It is patience, understanding, it is faithfulness and support, it is feeling whole, like your missing piece has finally been found and a higher sense of completion has been reached.

Which is why I would not change the distance between our relationship, as to do that will mean you are not in it. So until the day that we don’t have to say goodbye. My mind will be constantly wondering the many paths in my mind that lead me straight to you.

 

A Long distance relationship is a REAL relationship!!

With the world getting increasingly smaller as technology lets us reach almost everywhere on earth, it is getting easier and easier for people across oceans and the world to meet, chat and even start a relationship together.

People don’t choose who they fall in love with, the time they fall in love or even the place. It happens when you least expect it and can be in the most unexpected places.

Long distant relationships are not for the non committed people, they take a lot more time, a lot more patience, a lot more communication and a lot more trust.  In an LDR you get to find out more about the person, as a person, instead of just relying on chemical or physical attraction (but that does happen when they get together) ;).

You get to know the person for who they are. You get to know them on a much deeper level than if you just met them in a bar and take them home one saturday night. You learn to listen, to open up, to communicate with each other which is the foundation to any relationship.  You have already fallen in love with the person before you’ve even met, and if you aren’t a shallow person or revolve a whole relationship on physical features, no matter what happens when you meet you will just fall deeper in love.  You will feel that physical connection on top of the love. You will see them as they are in the inside and as what you fell in love with….. Beautifully perfect.

As time goes on and you stay in the relationship, you meet each other more and more, talk to each other daily, and miss them like nothing else. But. You wouldn’t change it for the world, as you have found the one you want to spend your future with, and when you are finally together, it will be everything you’ve been waiting for for years.

Love is not bounded by distance.

It is a real relationship no matter where you both are.